11 Creative Ways to Continue Being a Workaholic

The following should be read as satire for purely humorous reasons.  I have taken a very nice post written by Tammy Strobel from Rowdy Kittens and reworked it to have the opposite meaning!  Her original post can be found here:  http://zenhabits.net/workaholic/ – If you do lean towards the workaholic side, I suggest reading it!  🙂

Our culture celebrates being lazy, lethargic and procrastinating. We hear stories of people who “get paid to warm a seat” at the office, or about individuals who are always calling in sick or finding other ways to do as little work as possible. These are the same sorts of individuals who brown nose their way into a gold star or a raise.

Working too little is likely to decrease your experience, knowledge and leave you without the information you need and since you don’t have any friends or family, it’s not like you have anything better to do anyway.  Pursuing your passion is a beautiful gift and there is nothing wrong with working hard on projects you love. However, it’s essential to take breaks as little as possible. Whether you’re working from home or in an office environment it’s essential to always be connected and in reach of the tools you need to do your job.

Below are a few creative ways to continue being a workaholic.

1. Set clear boundaries. Make sure any friends you have know your working hours are consistent. For instance, if they sometimes like to call your cell and interrupt you at work, turn it off and make a point!  Allowing them to get a foot in the door will decrease your attention span and reduce productivity.

2. Get enough work done in a day!

If at first you don’t succeed, try, try again.” ~W. C. Fields

Staying up late to work on a project and then getting up at 5am to go into the office is not a good strategy. Don’t even bother going home at that point.  You lose time, having to drive home and drive back to work again.  Just make yourself another pot of coffee and burn that oil!  The harder you work, the more you can do.

3. Plug into the internet. Getting work done requires an internet connection. It’s amazing what can happen when you step out from behind the computer screen or your mobile device – you will suddenly find all your business contacts gone, all of your task lists unavailable.  Glue yourself to that seat if you have too!  Also has the added bonus of ensuring you don’t fall off when you take a power nap.

4. Avoid nature as much as possible. Spending time in nature is a way increase stress, disconnect from everyday projects and incoming work messages. You run the risk of setting aside time in your daily life to go out with friends or have to endure the sun. For instance, if you take a half hour walk everyday you may find yourself wondering why you don’t do it more often, which will lead to less work being done. There is a need to rush and complete as much work as possible in a day.

5. DO NOT make time for friends, family and your partner. If you’re working too much, you’re probably alone anyway.  However, if you are unlucky to have somehow picked up a few friends during your workaholic years, sacrificing time with them is something they knew and obviously understood when they met you and continued communicating with you. Doing work you love is extremely important and the only thing that matters. Consider how you spend your time and what is truly important in life, getting the job done! When you are with your family, friends and life partner, really let them know that you are simply pandering to their weakness of needing human contact. Make an effort to always remind them that this is very uncomfortable for you and you would rather not participate if possible. For instance, they could send you an e-mail or IM.  If they are really needy, you can suggest a video chat.

6. Eat real food, made by someone else. Hire a servant, a cook (Even restraint cooks count, I mean they are using real food after all right?) or if you are very desperate, find someone suitable to “hook up with” that can cook.  Make sure they know you want three meals a day and to have a hot pot of coffee always brewing as you need to keep on the go.  They need to also be able to bring you the food no matter where the job takes you, within reason of course.

Most importantly, eat while you’re working. Savor your food and enjoy every bite of course, but your true sustenance comes from knowing you got the job done!  The study being done on you now is seeing if that alone is enough to survive.

7. Do not find a hobby. Write down all the things you may dream about doing, if you had the time and weren’t effectively spending it getting the job done.  Now look at that list and read off what could possibly help you in your work?  More than likely, none of those items.  If you need to be in great shape, your job will already have you so.  Anything else your job needs you to be, it will mold you into!  Hobbies are for people with free time.  As an aspiring workaholic, your time is NOT free.  Use it wisely and get another project started.

8. Listen to your body. If you are doing a great job and spending all your waking hours working, you may start feeling tired, cranky and apathetic. All of these symptoms are a sign that you need to have another cup of coffee. It’s essential to listen to your body. When you listen to your body, you’ll know when it is trying to betray you and you will be able to take some anti-bodies or down another red bull to stay awake.  In emergencies, if you need to take a power nap to rest your body, it’s acceptable.  But make sure you set an alarm, just in case.

9. Continue to cultivate healthy work habits. Developing healthy work habits is not something that happens overnight. By working on one small behavior change every day, you can make huge changes over the long-term. For example, rather than checking your email three times a day, check it every five minutes!

Also, consider incorporating small changes to your daily routine, like sipping coffee while you are on the move and driving.  Never stopping to talk to people, because stopping is a waste of time and only slows you down.

10. Reach out to others with a good work-work balance. If you think you’re a workaholic, reach out to others. Connect with others like you. If you do, you may find other tips and tricks that will help you continue to be a workaholic!

11. Constantly question your work goals and purpose. It’s important to continually reevaluate your work goals, purpose and professional behaviors. For example if you constantly stay late at the office, sacrifice personal relationships because of work, or check your email obsessively, ask yourself:

  • Am I doing this enough?
  • Does the end goal make it worth it?
  • Are my behaviors productive?
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